Growing Older: Reclaiming the Crone
Yesterday, I posted about being in the Mother phase of my life. As I mentioned in that post, that is the phase that I would classify myself in, however I tend to feel a lack of connection since most of the images of the Mother are of a pregnant or birthing Goddess, or one with a babe in arms or at her breast. It’s hard to find an image of a Mother Goddess with older children at her feet.
As my children age though, the Crone phase is getting closer for me. I find that I am looking forward to it. Over the years, I’ve noticed that my tastes in men have become more mature – my Pinterest board for men’s fashion consists mostly of men over 30, and I am finding that the company of more mature women is more engaging than it used to be. Not that I don’t enjoy the company of younger women; it’s more that the things I am concerned about have dramatically shifted over the years. I’ve solved o reached an understanding with family about disagreements; I have children, so that’s not a ‘worry’, I am at peace with the choices I have made and the decisions on my horizon are still some time off; I have time to contemplate, but also have a firmer grasp on what I want than I did years ago, so it’s not as stressful to think about the future.
Spiritually speaking, I think that a key point for me is that the Crone has a clear role in Paganism. She is the Sage, the Wisdom; a bridge to re-birth. Her role is coming to a close, but she is in no way diminished. She is a Teacher and has Knowledge to share. As someone who has always been engaged in teaching/guiding/counseling pursuits, this is a role that I feel very comfortable in and on some level I feel like I am biding my time to get there. I don’t feel ‘qualified’ to teach anything as an expert on Pagan matters; more that I am moved to become more deeply engaged in my practice and local community. I am looking forward to defining my path more clearly over the coming years as I have in other areas in my life.
I have found that over the years, my perception of the Crone has changed. I think that’s normal; as a Maiden, it is very hard to imagine what the life of a Crone is like. But I also think that it would be very difficult to go backwards. The Crone has fought some hard battles and come out on the other side. She is experienced, and has earned her silver hair and face lined with both joy and sorrow. Her back is bowed with years of responsibility, but she’s borne it and can stand proud that she has met such challenges with grace and to the best of her ability. She is confident in her ability to surmount whatever obstacles lie in her path, and knows where and to whom she can turn if she needs help.
Having that sort of confidence in yourself is worth the time it takes to get there.