Tales of a Southern Pagan Mom

Keeper of the Eternal Flame

Saturday, June 30, 2012 8:22PM CST began my first shift with Cill Willow to tend Brigid’s Eternal Flame. I have ‘shift 4’ in a 20-day cycle (with 19 Flamekeepers and one day that Brigid tends the flame herself, then the cycle starts again). Each shift starts at sundown and continues through the night and following day, until sundown, when you pass the duty off to the next Flamekeeper.

I posted about this a few weeks ago, and I wanted to come back and talk about what the experience was like; document what I did and how I felt.

I lit my flame just after sunset. I also lit some incense that I made. I plan to make another blend specifically for tending my flame (possibly with the sisters in my Cill), but this time, I used a blend that I made in Circle with my local group last year at Mabon. It’s one of my favorite blends and since it was made in Circle, I thought it was appropriate.

I chose a white candle to burn for Brigid. White corresponds to spirituality, cleansing, purity, perfection, innocence, integrity, healing, freedom, opportunity, forgiveness, and acceptance. It is also a color of simple power; white carries the powers of all the colors and can be directed towards almost any use. In this case, I specifically wanted to channel spirituality and cleansing. White helps eliminate negative energy and creates inner peace, which I found to be very true in this instance. It also corresponds to the Maiden form of the Triple Goddess, which is Brigid incarnate.

I was able to spend four hours in mindful tending this evening. I listened to songs and stories and even watched a documentary on St. Brigid of Kildare. Some of my favorite music devoted to Brigid is Lisa Theil’s Song to Brigid, Isaac Bonewit’s  Hymn to Brigid, Brighid’s Kiss by Triniti, Chalice & Blade’s I Hear You Calling, and Kelliana’s Brighid.

During that time, to honor Brigid’s call to creativity and her affinity for healing, I created a flat woven beaded panel that features a Native American Medicine Wheel. It didn’t turn out all that great; I had no idea how many beads it would take and ran out of the ones I started with and then the others were too small. I ended up editing the design once it was in-progress and it just… yeah – not so great. It looks nothing like the original design, but I am relatively happy with it (for what it is – call it a ‘proof of concept’). But the effort was there, and I plan on getting more beads to make a ‘real’ version of the panel. If it turns out well, then I will make another panel and sew them together for a ‘Medicine Bag‘. I very much enjoyed the process of beading. I am considering getting a loom, although flat bead weaving wasn’t too bad.

I will keep a natural flame burning for some time yet and when I go to bed I will switching to a LED candle. I would prefer a natural flame to burn the entire shift, but safety comes first and leaving a candle burning while I sleep wouldn’t be safe. I would also worry that the flame would go out while I slumber; an LED flame will be burning bright until I wake.

One thing that this experience has taught me is that I am not connecting with my deities deeply enough lately. I plan to spend some time over the coming weeks and months devoting my practice to a particular deity, rather than just honoring the Gods in general. I also found that I need to schedule more devotional time into my day. Though four hours is a bit much to expect on a daily basis, perhaps once a week would be feasible.

Something I would like to comment on before I go is meditating with children around. I have two children, both active boys, and my husband has been home this evening. They’ve been in and out of the kitchen (where I was meditating and beading), and asking me questions, commenting on my handiwork, turning the TV up too loud – all while I was in my makeshift ‘sacred space’. I decided before I began that trying to retreat to my room to practice in solitude and relative silence would be an exercise in futility, and so I adjusted my mindset. I knew that I would be needed (probably more than usual since my mind was to be elsewhere), and so I went into this evening with that in mind. Instead of being resentful or annoyed at interruptions, I looked at my divided attention as honoring the Mother aspect of the Goddess – caring for my children and family as She answers us when we are in need of Her attention – even when there are others who need Her more. Even though I was interrupted countless times over the course of the evening, my peace was undisturbed. I am relaxed and my mind is restful – I enjoyed my evening very much.

If you have young children, I wonder how looking at tending your families needs as part of your practice might work. When my children were younger, I felt like I didn’t have time for devotions, because I was so needed all the time. Looking back, I wish I had  more of an open mind about how my daily practice should look and feel. I also wish that I’d been more open to incorporating my boys into my practice when they were younger. I actually have mixed feelings about that, as I don’t want to ‘indoctrinate’ them into any religion – I want them to know about and explore other paths and find the one that’s right for them. That said, I do wish I’d taken more time with them in spiritual matters when they were younger – for that matter I wish I had taken more time for spiritual matters myself when they were younger! Oh well, done is done – time to focus on the here and now. My youngest did come craft next to me while I was beading. He is sculpting a little man figure from clay; we sat together and enjoyed some of the music I lined to above with me. A mother can’t ask for more than that!

I may write more tomorrow – I will have a full day of Flamekeeping to fill. ‘Till then, have a blessed night!

Brightest Blessings,

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One response

  1. So glad you had a good night tending with epiphanies! I’m equally glad you wrote about tending the flame with interruptions from children & husband to deal with. Just last night one of the sisters in the Cill was asking me how she would ever be able to keep the candle burning for 24 hours… and what to do about trying to meditate if her little one needed her. I told her that tending the flame was hers to do as she saw fit, for as long as she wanted & was capable of doing with her household and situation. I will encourage her to read this though because I think she’ll be happy to know that it can be done and that there isn’t a “right” way to doing it… just her way.

    July 1, 2012 at 1:27 AM

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