Beltane 2016: Self-Care is Worship
I’ve been a bit absent over the last few weeks; it seems like every time I get into a good groove, something happens to throw it off. It’s often that I lament the fact that the Universe doesn’t run according to my plans. However out of whack things get, they do always seem to find their way back to the course, but not without some action on my part.
I’ve been focusing on self-care for the last month or so; something I tend to neglect when I work a lot or get wrapped up in being busy. I love being busy, but it does catch up with me now and then, and I’ve been in a slump lately. Something I have noticed is that as I have become better at being in-tune with myself and meeting my own needs, I am able to recognize the beginnings of the down-slide sooner and respond more quickly to correct the course, which makes these little lapses much more tolerable. I wouldn’t say that I have a handle on it, exactly, but things are much improved, in any case.
This is where I am now – in the ‘action’ part of getting things back on track. The pattern seems to be:
- things are going well
- something happens and things are shitty
- I feel bad; wallow in bad feelings; complain and wish things were better
- recognize that things CAN be better; I am the key to making things BE better
- develop a plan; pay attention to self-care; start making things better
- things are going well
Whereas I used to get stuck in stage 3, I find that stage 4 and 5 come somewhat easier the more adept I become at managing step 5. No one wants to feel bad, but I think a lot of us just get caught in the loop and don’t know how to break out of it. For me, the cycle stops when I focus inward.
This has become my focus for Beltane this year: the idea that self-care is worship. The idea that I am a representation of the Divine Mother, and care of myself is care of Her go hand in hand for me. If the Divine Spark in me is a part of Her, then it would be negligent to allow that spark to be snuffed out. There are a lot of ways that the Spark can be extinguished, from a shift in focus or being distracted by everyday things, to something big that happens that rocks you to your core, like a loss or something catastrophic. I deal with chronic depression and anxiety, and sometimes I struggle to feel Her flame within just because the darkness is overwhelming and it’s easy to lose sight of things – but when I take a break and focus inward, it’s always there; I just have to look for it and coax it back to roaring life again.
What are you focused on this Beltane?