Tales of a Southern Pagan Mom


Fancy Dress Events

This week’s prompt at the Pagan Blog Project 2012 is the letter ‘F’. I chose the topic ‘fancy dress events’ – meaning ritual attire.

I admit, one of the things I like best about Ritual is that I get to dress up. I’ll use practically any excuse to dress up, but, lucky for me, practicing my faith kinda encourages it. By ‘fancy dress’, I mean capes, coin skirts, face-paint, feathered crowns, black pointy hats, scarves, antlers, elaborate headdresses and circlets – you name it. Not all at the same time, of course, but pretty much ‘anything goes’.

Don’t get me wrong; fancy dress is by no means required at Pagan events, and I usually attend Teaching Circle classes in jeans and a tee-shirt. We meet for clean up days to tend our outdoor ritual space dressed in gardening gear – old clothes, bandanas and bug spray (as we should), and no one in our group goes skyclad since we’re a family oriented circle group, but come Sabbat Ritual, and we all look pretty smashing.

We haven’t had anyone dress to extremes, really. We get the occasional mask or extra ‘oomph’ in the makeup department, a nice ritual robe here and there, and we pretty much all wear capes when it’s cold, but nothing outlandish (yet). It’s obvious from everyone’s attire that Sabbats are something ‘special’, and that we have all put a little more into our appearance than normal.

Angel Dessous – “Wicca”

Is it wrong to dress up – more than your standard Sabbat garb? Well… I can kinda see a couple of different viewpoints on this. On the one hand, I am all for freedom of expression. If dressing the part helps you to feel more in touch with your Gods, then by all means – let your freak flag fly.

On the other hand though, Sabbats and Esbats are the equivalent of ‘Sunday Church’, to me, which means semi-formal wear, at least. I feel less inclined to be dressy for Esbats, but still want to appear presentable. I don’t want to get too outlandish; that would feel… disrespectful, maybe.

Then again, I also tend to think that the more joyful you are, the happier your worship and honor is, the more it is appreciated – and if dressing up makes you happy, then go for it.

And then there’s the perception part. As a Pagan, I want my religion to be taken seriously. I don’t want it to be seen as a joke, or something hokey that attracts bored teenagers and unsavory types. I don’t want the practice of my faith to become a source of ridicule for myself, for my children or for other local Pagans… and so on some level, I do feel a slight bit of responsibility to make sure that if I go somewhere before or after ritual, that I don’t make a spectacle of myself.

And then again… when I come across an awesome mask… or a set of wings… or a funky witch hat… somehow they seem to find their way into my basket.

What are your thoughts on fancy dress for ritual wear?

Brightest Blessings,


Big Moon, Bright Moon – Full March Moon 2012

Photo courtesy of Why Not Art - 'March Chaste Moon'. Click the picture to bring you to the website.

March is the month of the Chaste Moon, the Windy Moon, the Fish Moon. Depending on your culture or path, you may call the moon by something else this month, but whatever you call it, last night was full of magic.

Something I was reading a while back was talking about how the moon affects water on earth, and how, since humans are made of mostly water, it is logical to assume that we are affected by the pull of the moon as well. I’d never thought about it in those terms before, but that works for me.

For practical purposes, I consider the full moon to last 3 nights; the day before, the day of, and the day after. We have an incredibly busy schedule, and rather than try to pack in a quickie Esbat ritual, I prefer to give myself a window to work within, that way I am not stressed out over missing the night of the full moon. My friend Bridey mentioned that it’s like a pyramid – the night leading up to the full moon, the night of, and then the night afterwards is on the downward slope; each day of the full moon can be tailored to tap into the last remaining waxing/full energy, or tap into the both the full and waning energies, but all three days are good for full moon working. That’s pretty accurate, I think.

That said though, there is something about the night of the full moon that makes it just that much more special, and the full moon falling on a regularly scheduled Teaching Circle night? Oh, even better. Since the new year began, our Circle group has been meeting occasionally for Esbat Rites in addition to Teaching Circle and Sabbat Rituals. In this case, we got a double dose – a Teaching Circle class on Moon Magic, and ritual. We talked about moon basics – what types of working that each moon phase is suited to, lunar deities, and some of the history of moon worship.

As a parent, it’s been interesting to me to see the progression of interest from my children. One of my sons came with me to this class, and whereas before they both have been more interested in hanging out in the playroom, my son decided to join in ritual this evening. This is the second or third time he has come out to participate. He’s a child still, so his interest level comes and goes, even within the context of circle – and he’s young enough yet that his entry into and out of ritual space isn’t an issue. Now, to be honest, his interest in being in circle may be that he just wants to stoke the fire; and/or may have something to do with the fact that last night, he was the only child there, and staying inside would have meant being alone inside while the rest of us were outside – but I like to think that having the option to participate without obligation has created some interest for him.

It also helps that we have men active in our circle. I think that goes a long way towards illustrating the (for lack of a better term) viability of this belief system for my sons. I respect the men who practice with us on a regular basis, and value their example as Pagan men for my children to emulate. Of course, they may ultimately decide that my path is not for them, and that’s fine – but having positive role models in their lives other than their father, regardless of religious flavor – is a good thing.

If you’re new to Paganism, or new to having children participate in your practice, there are many ways to get the kids involved. Keep in mind that a ‘ritual’ doesn’t need to be a full-on, quarter-calling ritual. You can keep things simple and casual; something that works better for some children than having a big formal to-do. Get the kids involved as much as their age and interest allows. Have a job for each child, and incorporate movement (dancing, singing, playing instruments) to help them release pent-up energy (and so as not to be a distraction if it is a group ritual). Some simple kid-friendly ideas include:

  • if you call the Quarters, make spirit jars to call/use at the corners (instead of or in addition to candles). Fill a small jar (Mason/Ball) with mineral oil or diluted corn syrup and glitter for the kids to shake as they call each Quarter. Use white/silver for air, red/orange for fire, blue/turquoise for water, green/yellow/lime for earth and we made one for spirit with gold and purple glitter that sits in the center of the circle or on the altar (if there’s a fire in the center).
  • if you walk the Circle, use a white rope to define the circle. Kids need/like visual reminders – letting them walk the circle with sage and salt can help cement for them where the Circle is at.
  • make saged salt – my kids love putting herbs through the grinder. We made saged sea salt for ritual use a few months ago by grinding sea salt and sage together. The result is a powdery smooth salt with sage throughout. It’s wonderful for protection and cleansing.
  • make moon-blessed water – full a container with filtered water and set it out at sunset. Leave it overnight to charge under the light of the full moon. Bring your jar in at moonset (or sunrise) and keep it for things like cleansing, blessings, filling your water element dish, watering your herb garden, etc. You can also put items into your water to charge – amulets, herbs, jewelry, etc.
  • charge your statuary – bring your gods and goddesses out into the moonlight to cleanse and charge them. Kids can bring their own, or make their own from clay, salt dough or cold porcelain clay and charge them under the moon. Stones, gems, rocks – these things can also be charged under the moon.
  • listen to and sing  Anne Hill’s Full Moon song (from Circle Round and Sing)
  • use the energy of the full moon to draw and send out healing energy to friends and family who are ailing
  • make dream pillows
  • incorporate the Moon Names into your theme for your ritual – March is the Chaste or Windy Moon, among others. Use feathers, fans, make a wind sock, wear white, talk about the Maiden aspect of the Goddess, etc.
  • talk about things that you want to banish in the waning moon
  • Visit PookaPages.com’s Moon Page  and Raven Rin’s Pagan Nest: Including Children in Esbat Ritualsfor more ideas

If you have ideas to share, I’d love to read them. If you’re a pagan parent blogger, please feel free to link to your website and let me know – I’ll add you to my sidebar.

Brightest Full Moon Blessings,