Simple Full Mon Esbat & Update
The last few months have been pretty chaotic and upsetting, but things feel like they’re finally settling down into some semblance of normal again. Tonight was the first full moon esbast I’ve really been able to sit down and devote some time to since Yule. My mother got sick towards the end of last year, and died in January. Through the last couple of weeks of her life, we knew she was going to die, but we didn’t expect it to happen so quickly. In any case, that has been the source of a lot of rumination, contemplation, questioning and general introspective inquiry for me over the last few months.
It’s also been an interesting time for talking to my children. They’re not little anymore, so discussions about in-dept spiritual concepts have a much different flavor to them now than they used to. It’s interesting to see how their ideas about death, dying, the after;life and spirituality are unfolding and what they think about those concepts. It’s also interesting to me how very different they are from each other with regard to their thought processes and general spiritual ideas.
I have been working on creating a little outdoor space in my yard lately; I repainted some old patio furniture and bought a lovely bright umbrella for the table. It’s been nice to have diner outside, and gives me a pretty, dedicated space to meditate and/or commune with nature, especially when I feel like going outside at night. This evening was one such occasion; I brought my esbat journal and affirmation cards, incense and tea to my little spot and just bathed in the moonlight. Then I took a walk around my yard and mentally mapped out some future plans I’d like to implement for outdoor living spaces. The moon was so pretty and bright – I love walking around outside under the full moon!
I have been meaning to re-plant an herb garden, but haven’t followed through with it for various reasons. After my mom crossed over, it seemed like a good time to make those plans blossom. As part of my grief self-care and healing process, I have been buying plants and herbs. I love green growing things; I’m not super great at keeping them alive past a certain point, but I really love them. It’s been healing, because my mom had quite the green thumb and also loved her plants, so it’s almost like sharing this with her. In addition to garden basics like basil, thyme, oregano, lavender and catnip, I added several variations of common varieties, like lime basil and purple basil; hot & spicy oregano; several varieties of mint (spearmint, sweet mint, peppermint and chocolate mint); and other staples like lemon balm and be balm, succulents, bell and jalapeno peppers, and quite a few greenery plants and flowers as well.
When my mom died, my aunt brought me a cabinet that belonged to my grandmother. She had been keeping it for my mom (who inherited it when my grandmother died). My grandmother collected all kinds of dolls, and the cabinet is where they lived. I re-purposed it into my herbal and apothecary cabinet, with the top housing my living room altar. It’s been a long time since I’ve had a full altar in a public space in my house; my main altar is in my bedroom. Right now, it’s just a generic altar, but I’m planing for it to become more of a family space. I’m sure that with time, it will take on a life of its own as we add to it.
I spent some time the other day making honey incense. It’s been a long time since I’ve made incense; I’d forgotten how much I enjoy the process. It’s really easy, and can basically be customized with either what you have on hand, or for specific purposes. I made a prosperity and protection blend for Beltane. This has a lovely sweet scent, and doesn’t smoke a lot; it just kinda smolders, which is nice if you have allergies.
Homemade Springtime Prosperity & Protection honey incense
1 tsp comfrey leaf
1.5 tsp lavender flowers
1 tsp orange peel
.5 tsp fenugreek seed
2 white sage leaves
.75 tsp. frankincense powder
1 tsp copal tears
honey (aprox 1.5 tsp)
Grind all dry ingredients. I put everything in a mortar and grind with a pestle until the larger bits are about evenly sized, then move to an electric finder and give everything a spin – just enough to get a rough sand-like texture. Then pour into a small bowl and add honey, sparingly. You inky need enough honey to bind the ingredients together so they’ll hold the ball shape. Roll and place on parchment paper to dry in a cool, dark place. You can use them immediately, but the are better when dried and aged. Burn by placing a ball onto a lot charcoal disc.
I’ve also been spending time with my cards. I read with the Medieval Scapini Tarot, and have been experimenting with different ways to read. This was a year forecast reading, which I’ve never attempted before. It will be interesting to see what unfolds in the coming months.
Brightest Blessings,
St. Patrick’s Day for Pagans?
I can’t reblog this, but please do go and read it. PaganCentric wrote a fantastic piece about the history of St. Patrick’s Day. A couple of passages that author Claire Mulkieran wrote that are both informative and heartbreaking.
If most people know anything about Saint Patrick, it’s that his one claim to fame is that he drove the snakes from Ireland. What most people don’t realize is that the snake is a Pagan symbol, and that the snakes referred to in the Saint Patrick mythos are not meant in the literal sense, but refer to Pagans; i.e., Saint Patrick drove the Pagans (specifically, the Celts) out of Ireland (although it could be said, and has been argued, that much has been done in Saint Patrick’s name, but that the man himself was relatively unimportant). So what is celebrated on Saint Patrick’s Day with drinking and much cavorting is, ironically, the spread of Christianity throughout Ireland and the subjugation and conversion of the Celts.
This, in particular, spoke to me. The rise of Christianity is a long and bloody one; with most indigenous religions and practitioners paying the price. My ancestors are (among others) Irish, but I have no way of knowing if they were affected by the Christianization of Ireland.
By way of remembrance, she shares a bit of her personal family lore and tradition; that of wearing a oak leaf pin passed down to her:
The significance of the oak leaf should be obvious to most Pagans. Greeks worshipped [sic] the oak as it was sacred to Zeus. It was a crime to fell an oak tree in Pagan Ireland. The ancient Celts wouldn’t meet unless an oak tree was present. The old expression “knock on wood” comes from the Celts, who believed in tree spirits. Both the Greeks and the Celts believed touching sacred trees would bring good fortune. They would knock on the oak tree to say hello to the tree spirit. And my family tradition holds that an oak leaf worn at the breast, touching the heart, will protect the wearer from all deception and the world’s false glamour. Oaks are protectors, and to me they represent strength and renewal; that spark of the old ways that can never be fully stamped out by Christianity, and which keep popping up in the least expected places.
Why not wear a shamrock? Simple. Legend credits Saint Patrick with teaching the Irish about the concept of the Christian Trinity by showing people the shamrock, using it to highlight the Christian belief of “three divine persons in the one God”. Wearing a shamrock to me is tantamount to wearing a Christian cross. I don’t begrudge those who do, but I know the meaning behind it, and I can’t follow you there. You might as well ask a Jew to wear a swastika.
is another perspective I hadn’t considered before, and it’s quite jarring to think about such a ‘fun’ holiday in this context. I do particularly appreciate the importance of family lore, and recognize the importance it has in shaping our identities.
But… is this a factual representation of the ‘truth’ of St. Patrick’s Day?
Maybe. But maybe not. Patheos also has a great article about the myths that surround St. Patrick’s Day, worth reading, especially if you’re swayed by the impassioned assertions of those who would ‘reclaim’ St. Patrick’s Day. Particularly this:
It seems the “snakes = Druids” metaphor is a relatively recent invention, as was the idea that Patrick “drove them out.” … P. Sufenas Virius Lupus, a Celtic Reconstructionist Pagan (and scholar) who has extensively studied Irish myth and folklore, had this to say on the subject.
“Unfortunately, this isn’t true, and the hagiographies of St. Patrick did not include this particular “miracle” until quite late, relatively speaking (his earliest hagiographies are from the 7th century, whereas this incident doesn’t turn up in any of them until the 11th century). St. Patrick’s reputation as the one who Christianized Ireland is seriously over-rated and overstated, as there were others that came before him (and after him), and the process seemed to be well on its way at least a century before the “traditional” date given as his arrival, 432 CE, because Irish colonists (yes, you read that right!) in southern Wales, Cornwall, and elsewhere in Roman and sub-Roman Britain had already come into contact with Christians and carried the religion back with them when visiting home.”
The simple fact is that paganism thrived in Ireland for generations after Patrick lived and died, and, as Lupus puts it, ” the ‘final’ Christianization of the culture didn’t take place until the fourteenth century CE.” There was no Irish pagan genocide, no proof of any great violent Druid purge in Ireland, it simply doesn’t exist outside hagiography.
I’m not a historian, by any means, so I defer to those who make such matters their life’s work. With credible historians backing this point of view, and a decided lack of factual evidence for the former claim, I tend to lean in this direction – that St. Patrick’s mark was negligible; though he may have played a prominent role in proselytizing and has been canonized for those efforts, he wasn’t the hammer that drove the first, or final, nail in the coffin of Paganism in Ireland.
So what’s a modern Pagan to do? Which point of view is correct? What should we believe?
Ultimately, that’s up to the individual Pagan. There is no right answer for ‘all’ Pagans. With most things, how you choose to celebrate (or not) is entirely up to what you feel is right for your path. Obviously, the Christian movement has a long and bloody history to atone for, and it is an undeniable fact that most indigenous Pagan religions were stamped out by aggressive Christian proselytizing and all-out war. The mindset is so pervasive that even today, to be an out-of-the-broom-closet Pagan can be dangerous in many areas of the world, including the United States, my own included. Considering that, on some levels, it seems ‘right’ to rally behind the idea that celebrating the rise of Christianity in a Pagan country is wrong, and that re-framing it in the context of ‘cultural genocide’ instead of ‘fun secular holiday’ is a more respectful way to approach it. On the other hand, for those of us with Irish roots (however deep they may be), without a concrete connection to our cultural identity as Irish descendants, St. Patrick’s Day in modern context (that is, more or less devoid of the religious context that it may have once held) is an important touchstone.
Like most holidays, irrespective of their origin or modern connotations, I approach it from several angles with my kids. From a ‘world religions history’ perspective, we take the factual (as much as possible) account of St. Patrick and his deeds, and the context (from world history) of the region of the time. From a spiritual perspective, which is admittedly biased by my personal beliefs, we discuss the possible effects that the Christianization of Ireland had on both the people, and religion of the country. And finally, from a secular perspective, we take what’s fun about it, and what might be connected to our family history, and celebrate where we feel moved to do so.
Sláinte, and Beannachtam na Feile Padraig!
Brightest Blessings,
Pagan Parenting Part II: Beliefs
Introduction
This is Part I of the Pagan Parenting Series. Raising children is hard enough, but when you factor in being part of a religion or spiritual belief system that falls outside the mainstream, there’s an added layer of difficulty. In addition to criticism by the mainstream, there is also a decided lack of resources for Pagan parents that deals specifically with the particulars of raising children in an Earth-based belief system. In the interests of full disclosure, I developed this series based on a discussion centering on the book, Circle Round: Elements of Spiritual Parenting, but you may find the self-assessment questions relevant even without the book. I looked for the original discussion, but could not find it to link. If this sounds familiar, and you have a source, please let me know and I will update the introduction with a link. However flavored by the original discussion, I have put my own spin on it for publishing here. In this series, I invite you to explore some of the topics and issues of concern centered on raising children as a Pagan parent.
Part II: Beliefs
All children eventually ask hard questions about the natural and supernatural world. What do we say when they ask about heaven or hell? Reincarnation? Deity? Do we pass our beliefs on to our children as ‘truth’, or do we want them to come to their own conclusions? Asking yourself these questions and others along these lines can make the difference between being prepared to answer or being blindsided when you’re not expecting them! As parents, it can be hard enough to answer those kinds of questions when you’re part of a mainstream religion, but when you fall outside of the norm, how do you answer? It can be very difficult to decide how much information is age-appropriate, or how much is ‘too much’. It can also be hard to find ‘traditional’ information to pass on to your kids.
Over the years, we’ve relied on literature, mythology, philosophy and religious studies to round out the kids’ knowledge base. Most Pagans I know personally don’t indoctrinate their kids into their path in the same way that other religions tend to assert you should. That presents problems for some; how do you teach them without forcing it on them? I think that has a lot to do with just exposure, and how you present things. My kids have always been welcome to attend Circle events and Ritual with me, and we’ve also taken them to other church services and allowed them the choice to attend, participate or opt out. We’ve always been open about XYZ being ‘one way to think about things’, or ‘this is what Mommy believes; this is what Daddy (or Auntie or whoever) believes’ with the approach that belief is a personal thing, neither ‘right’ nor ‘wrong’. Your approach may differ based on what your goals are.
One thing I know about my own beliefs is that they’re ever-evolving. There are ideas and concepts that I ‘like’, but don’t necessarily ‘believe’ and figuring out how to explain some of those things to my children has been challenging. Fortunately, if you’re interested in sharing your beliefs as a Pagan, or person on a more Nature/Earth-based spiritual path, there are some things online that can help to explain, or at least give you a starting point to start teaching your children. I have found it helpful to have a starting point, and for us, that was defining what it is that I believe in; what goals I am trying to attain as a person. Since we are somewhat secular, I was drawn to the 15 Guiding Principles of Secular Paganism as a teaching tool. I also appreciate the Nine Noble Virtues of Asatru, and the Golden Rule as it is explained in other various religions. If you’re more traditionally Pagan or Wiccan, then The Witches Creed, The Wiccan Rede, or 13 Goals of a Witch might be more fitting, or have attributes that you want to include in your children’s education. As an eclectic practitioner, all of these have value for me.
In my practice, gratitude and mindfulness are two concepts that I am deeply attached to and so I try to incorporate those ideas and ideals into my life on a daily basis. While this doesn’t involve ‘giving thanks’ to a deity figure, it does involve being mindful of the good things in my life and focusing on the positive. Depending on your feelings about and/or interpretation of Deity, you may include prayers, devotions or other ‘little rituals’ that are meaningful for you and your child(ren). We have Goddess and God and Sabbat candles in the kitchen that are lit almost daily, and directional/elemental candles that are lit for various reasons. Other things, ‘traditions’ that are rooted in belief and practice have their place as well: decorations (besom, Witch Balls, altars, ritual sweeping, smudging, etc.)… those things are just part of ‘our house’ and are normal for my kids. Other facets of your belief system will depend on your personal interpretation of your path and what religion and belief means to you. I like the Four Centers of Paganism as a model for understanding, and teaching as well. Defining where you stand, and how you interpret your path can make it easier to articulate and demonstrate to your kids.
In conclusion, I think the important thing is to prepare yourself for those hard questions, and not to leave your children out of the process of discovery. Whatever your approach, and whatever their path, the journey towards a personal style of spirituality and belief is interesting and full of self-discovery. Whether they agree with you, or take off on a completely different spiritual path, they’ll make it their own just like you have.
Here are some books and other resources that I’ve found both interesting and helpful at various times over the years. This is by no means an exhaustive list, and I am not affiliated with the authors, publishers of distributors; the links are just for ease of locating them if you think they may be of use to you. Please feel free to comment with other books and resources you’ve found helpful, especially if they’re specific path relevant (i.e.: Druidry, Asatru, etc.)
Paganism For Kiddos: A Kids and Parents’ Guide to Pagan and Wiccan Practice by
Raising Witches: Teaching The Wiccan Faith To Children and Family Wicca by
Circle Round: Raising Children in Goddess Traditions by
Celebrating the Great Mother: A Handbook of Earth-Honoring Activities for Parents and Children by
The Pagan Family: Handing the Old Ways Down by
D’Aulaires’ Book of Norse Myths & D’Aulaires Book of Greek Myths by
Be sure to check out the other parts in this series:
Part I: Values
Part III
Part IV
What are your thoughts on sharing your beliefs with your children?
Brightest Blessings,
Good Witch, Bad Witch
I know, I know – totally cliched and overdone, but the question itself just begs for this image, dontcha think? Image links to Zimbio quiz.
Probably every person who admits to being Pagan gets this question at least once. I’ve never addressed it here, so I thought it might be a fun way to kick off the new year. The question of ‘good’ and ‘bad’ is a hard one to answer, in my opinion. Not because what I do or don’t do in my practice is questionable, but because of the very nature of black and white thinking. Categorizing something as either/or leaves out a vast canvas of grey, which I think most things could be said to be. There are a lot of factors that go into determining whether something is good or bad, not the least of which are intention and perspective.
Morticia Addams said it best, ‘What is normal to the spider is chaos to the fly.’
Take healing spells, for example. Most people would say that the intent of a healing spell is to help someone who is ill or feeling poorly. Few would argue that the intent of a healing spell would be classed as ‘good’. But if the person you worked a spell for feels that anything to do with Pagan practices is ‘evil’, and you knowingly violated that person’s belief/preference, would that still be classed as ‘good’?
There are those would would argue that all witches are evil. Quoting the bible, Exodus 22:18 says, ‘Thou shalt not suffer a witch to live.’ That’s pretty damning, most would say. But surely all witches aren’t evil? I don’t consider myself to be evil, or even mostly bad. Short of swearing and a little social drinking and smoking every now and then, that’s about the worst of my vile habits. Even in my spiritual practice, I am cautious when it comes to affecting change in a way that might be destructive.
Many people who have an inkling of familiarity with Pagans may think that all Pagans are Wiccan, and as such, follow the Wiccan Rede, which states, ‘An it harm none, do as ye will.’ That’s not so; while Wiccans are Pagan, not all Pagans are Wiccan. Wicca is a specific style/belief/practice set within Paganism, and even though it has different ‘flavors’, that’s only a small part of the larger Pagan community. I’m not actually Wiccan, so I wouldn’t follow Wiccan dictates any more than I would follow Catholic ones (though those two particular religions have practices and ‘rules’ that are remarkably similar to one another, but I digress). That doesn’t mean that I take the idea behind the Rede, or even the Christian sentiment of the Golden Rule, any less seriously. Most cultures and religious or philosophical maxims have some version of it; I think it’s because at their core, most people strive to be good – to do good and be well thought of by others in their community. Even the concept of karma, and ‘the rule of three’ emphasis that what you put out there is what comes back to you.
For myself, I choose to strive to be good. My version of ‘good’ may vary slightly from yours; for example, I enjoy firearms as a sport, and other weaponry. While my interest in them does fall towards ‘sport’ and less towards ‘protection’, if pressed, I wouldn’t have an issue protecting myself or my children with force. I believe that doing so, even should it result in injury or death, would still be ‘good’. That’s more pragmatic than many ‘fluffy goodness and light’ Pagans might like, but I believe that there is more than just black and white; good and bad.
In light of recent world goings-on, I have had many discussions with my children about how ‘good’ and ‘evil’ develop, particularly within the political realm. While current politics don’t hold my interest the way that history does, I can see alarming correlations between some of the American Presidential candidates’ positions and policies that historical figures that we almost universally categorize as ‘evil’ once held. But to truly avoid repeating those same mistakes, we can’t dehumanize the villains in those accounts. They were men; not monsters from a fictional story. They were men who, through charismatic, enigmatic and persuasive arguments and speech, appealed to fear, a need for safety and an idealized (but unattainable) ‘better’. And people flocked to them. They came running, willing to set aside their personal values and concepts of ‘good’ and ‘bad’ in order to work towards a goal that someone else imposed upon them. And there are those who would unequivocally say that those leaders were ‘good’ men. Chaos for the fly, indeed.
On the flip side, we have examples of non-violent lifestyles taken to extremes. Some might say that inaction in the fact of injustice is ‘bad’, but who could argue that refusing to harm or kill another living being is anything but ‘good’. But if my child were harmed or killed through someone else’s deliberate inaction on their behalf, I’d probably fail to see how they rationalize being a ‘good’ person after that.
My point is that black and white thinking is a form of cognitive distortion (another subject that interests me greatly). When you categorize something, and more importantly, someone as ‘good’ or ‘bad’, you box them, and yourself, into a corner. You tend to put ‘good’ people up on a pedestal, unable or unwilling to see their faults, and have the potential to grossly wrong someone by judging them as ‘bad’ simply because their perspective or worldview is different from yours. We all do it to some degree; it’s natural. But being aware of it is the first step towards questioning our snap judgement and perceptions and getting to the grey.
Then again, according to the quiz, maybe I am just here to tempt you to the Dark Side of the Force.
So, are you a good witch, or a bad witch?
Brightest Blessings,
A Relaxed Approach to Raising Witchlings
When my children were born, I was somewhere in the midst of a philosophical crisis of sorts. I was of an age where I knew what I wanted, but lacked the confidence to go after it. I found it really difficult to decide what the ‘right’ thing to do was, regarding teaching my children about religion:
- Should I bring them up in my parents’ religion (I turned out ‘fine’, right??)? Even though it wasn’t my belief, most of my family is in the church, and there’s a rich history that comes with it. Is it ‘right’ to deprive them of that culture, even though I personally disagree with it?
- Should I raise them to follow my personal belief system, even though I recognize that my personal belief system is ever-evolving? I think it’s okay to not be ‘sure’ and to adopt new ideas and attitudes, but do children need more stability (even if it might be wrong)?
- Should I not tell them anything and let them figure it out on their own? Are they capable of making that kind of decision?
- Should I give them a wealth of information on all religions and hope they choose wisely? What happens if I don’t do a good job of making other beliefs available to them; what happens if they’re swayed by one religion before gaining an appreciation for all and/or less structured belief systems?
- Something in between all that? And what happens if I choose wrong, or change my mind mid-stride?
Being a parent is exhausting, and trying to figure out some of the more obscure and complicated aspects of producing a functional member of society can be extremely taxing! Even knowing that you don’t have to have it all figured out today does nothing to alleviate the looming responsibility of raising your children ‘Right’.
Obviously, I can only share my own experiences, and I am far from anything resembling an expert. But as my kids get older, I do feel like the choices that we made with regard to bringing them up have been good ones. That is to say, they’re no more screwed up than any one else (and a great deal less so than many others). I’d also like to preface this article with the understanding that my viewpoint is a rather conservative view, both because I prefer my privacy (while not ‘in the closet’, I don’t advertise my spirituality overtly), and to protect my children’s privacy until they’re of age.
Living in the South, there were/are often a number of additional factors that go into your decision-making progress. I live in an area where Paganism and its associated terms and beliefs are stigmatized negatively. In my town, for example, there are probably as many Christian churches as there are gas stations (and we live in the petroleum refining capital of the world… so that’s saying something). We’re deep in the Bible Belt, and it’s generally assumed that you’re Christian until you say or do something that casts that assumption into speculation. Everyone here has a ‘church’, and you’re absolutely judged by which one you attend. As far as ‘progress’ goes, there’s a growing Atheist/Secular Humanist movement, which is helping to bring round the idea that one doesn’t have to be religious to be a good person, but it’s ever-so-slow, and does absolutely nothing to help the stigma attached to Pagan Life (and often creates yet another source of friction due to the ‘woo’ factor).
The children, themselves, are another problematic issue. The little blabbermouths darlings tend to have no filter, so openly talking about your beliefs in easily-recognizable terms can be problematic should they say something unexpected at a playdate or party. Even mostly benign subjects like meditation, mentioning the full moon, and herbal medicine can get the side-eye from the conservative set. Having people in your home is another source of worry. If your altar is in public view, it can create tensions with people who visit – even if they don’t know exactly what they’re looking at, they know it’s ‘Something’ and that that Thing is different from their Thing. Even hosting a family ritual in the back yard can cause problems with neighbors.
I use the term ‘relaxed approach’ because that’s my parenting style in general – at least, I feel like it’s relaxed in relationship to how I was raised (which was extremely authoritarian). I’m sure some would look at my approach and say that I am authoritarian as well, but I am okay with that. What I mean by ‘relaxed’ is that we didn’t start out with a framework that we tried to fit our lives and our kids into. Rather, we let our growing relationship with our kids help shape the framework that our lives became based on. We didn’t necessarily start out with the idea that they should be brought up with XYZ ‘beliefs’; we took a more broad/general approach. We shared stories and read myths and tales with origins in many religions. As an American, our entire culture is shaped by Christianity, so I feel like my kids need to have a basic knowledge of what that means. As they get older, we’ve taken a more ‘religious studies’ approach, which seems to have been a good choice for us/them.
As for the ‘how’, it’s hard to pinpoint exactly when or how we went about teaching them. As parents, you’re always teaching your kids – whether intentionally or not. They pick up on everything you say and do, and in many ways, the habits and routines you set just become part of their life effortlessly. If you pray or do spellwork openly, then so will your kids. If you honor the moon, or pay homage to deity, then your kids will, too. You can certainly call attention to it with explanations and rote, but as long as your path is fascinating and tended with love, then your children will grow up with those values and traditions and habits. I took a more conservative approach – while not doing such things ‘openly’, I didn’t hide it, either. That created a safe space for me to settle into life as a confident adult, while still exposing my kids to my belief system without overwhelming them. As they have gotten older, I’ve found it to be easier to talk to them about what I feel or think and why.
Some of the more important things to me, we’ve covered a little more in-depth, and certainly where interest is shown, I am more than happy to delve into. I do feel like it’s good for the children to know what my beliefs are, and to participate in group activities with other kids who are in non-traditional/non-Christian households, not necessarily because they’re ‘Pagan’, but because such people tend to have a more open and accepting worldview. That is the kind of attitude that I want to foster in my kids, and that is the community that values it. That doesn’t limit their fellowship, but it does segment it to a certain degree. Pagan families are hard to find, I think partially because of the stigma attached to Pagan religious misconceptions. Groups like Spiral Scouts have made it a little more mainstream, but the minute people read that it’s based on Wiccan philosophy, people immediately shun it.
I was fortunate in that by the time I decided to be more open with my kids about what I believe, they were a bit older. The only thing that ‘changed’ really was talking about it. They were already familiar with Mommy’s altar (very, very simple when they were little – but the same rules apply about touching), and meditation practice and herb crafting. Many of the things we did at the turn of the seasons became more celebratory, but they were still the same things we’d always done. Books like Circle Round, and Honoring the Great Mother, and Pagan Homeschooling were great resources, too. Even though they seem to have gone dormant, back issues of newsletter like Pagan Moonbeams and Pooka Pages have tons of great kid-centered information.
Autonomy is important to me, and as a parent, it’s important to me that my children have the autonomy to choose their own paths. We emphasize communication and the idea that you should try things before deciding that they’re not for you (most things; some things we can look at objectively and make a decision based on those observations). We’ve invited the kids to participate in ritual and Teaching Circle classes, and also taken them to visit local churches and facilitated discussions about religion with peers and family members. My youngest has a personal altar set up in his room, but my oldest doesn’t feel the need for it. Neither have chosen a set path, but I feel like they have the opportunity to learn and choose as they will, and I’m okay with that. My point in writing this is to emphasize that you really DON’T have to have it all figured out. It’s perfectly fine to take it day by day, or situation by situation, and address things as they come up.
What’s your approach to raising witchlings look like?
Brightest Blessings,
Little Rituals Every Day
As Pagans, it’s fairly safe to say that most of us are somewhat familiar with rituals. Those of us who are heavily involved in the local Pagan community either attend, take part in, or lead at least eight Sabbat rituals, and often many Esbat rituals as well. Even if you’re a solitary practitioner, you likely celebrate the Sabbats, Esbats and other marks of the passing year with some sort ceremony. Even in other religions, there are rituals. I’ve been watching The Borgias on TV, which showcases many of the rituals associated with the Catholic Papacy (many of which are oddly reminiscent of Pagan rituals, as many know and recognize), and have always been fascinated and drawn to the ritualistic aspects of ancient religions.
Most would say that it is these rituals define the practitioner, and indeed, you can usually identify a person’s beliefs often by the rituals that one takes part in. A priest wears ritual garb, a teacher leads the class in the Pledge of Allegiance, a nurse checks your vital signs… all of these rituals tell you something about the person who leads or initiates them, or takes part in performing them.
Wikipedia says that:
A ritual may be performed on specific occasions, or at the discretion of individuals or communities. It may be performed by a single individual, by a group, or by the entire community; in arbitrary places, or in places especially reserved for it; either in public, in private, or before specific people. A ritual may be restricted to a certain subset of the community, and may enable or underscore the passage between religious or social states.
Ritual is defined as a set of actions, performed mainly for their symbolic value. In a religious sense, for both Pagans and Catholics (and some other forms of Christianity as well), the rituals of bread and wine have heavy significance for us because of the meaning behind them – the body and blood of Christ; the union of the Lord and Lady.
As moving and meaningful as these rituals are, I thought I would discuss some of the small rituals that I perform daily that identify me as a Pagan practitioner, and some of the little rituals that I’ve helped my kids develop as they’ve grown and taken on more of a personally active role in their spirituality.
Like many Pagans, I keep a bowl of water on my altar. Sometimes it is moon-blessed water, sometimes it is sun-charged water, sometimes it is salt water, sometimes it’s Holy Water made during a Sabbat or Esbat observance. I usually press the tips of my fingers into the water, then to my forehead every time I pass it, but I often start my day standing before my altar, taking a few moments to connect with the quiet inside before going about the start of my day. I will go back again to my altar when I need to think, or chill out or meditate, sometimes with incense or chakra music or meditation music, as needed. I’ve mentioned before that we made meditation jars to help the kids learn how to focus and find their inner calm. They keep their jars in their rooms now, to use when they feel the need.
In addition to the water, incense also plays a big part in my persona practice. I make my own, but am not adverse to buying it; my particular favorites are from sandalrose and bergamot from ElvenKeep and the Hari incense from RamaKrishnaNandaStore.com. I love the way that the scents of incense permeate my house, and how the scent lingers long after the ember is gone. The I often use incense for meditation, and just to have that subtle scent that is ‘other’ to keep me grounded and focused.
My youngest child has found quite a desire for incense in his room. A year or so ago, we deemed him old enough to have access to incense, a burner and lighter in his room. He’s 11 now, and that was a responsibility that he’s taken well to. When we go shopping for incense, he’s always on the lookout for something that calls to him now.
Tea time is another big ritual for me, and for the kids. We started having ‘tea time’ when we started homeschooling – a time to relax and connect between lunch and dinner. We have the chance to talk and re-connect in the middle of the afternoon over a nice hot cuppa. This isn’t a ‘pagan’ ritual per se, but it certainly can be depending on the discussion.
Tea time can also tie into tasseography, or the art of fortune-telling through tea leaf reading. It’s a practice that I am not terribly experienced in, but enjoy immensely. I’ve been learning more and more about it over the past couple of years, and it’s been a fun journey.
Candle magic is another ritual that I engage in almost daily. From lighting my altar candles, my devotional candles (even if for only a few minutes), to lighting spell candles (what some might view as ‘prayers’), candles play a central role in my daily practice. Fire in my element, so connecting with primal elementals helps me keep my focus, even when things are hectic and life gets chaotic. Oddly, this is one of the first things that I tend to stop doing when things get busy, and one of the things I most enjoy picking back up when I realize how much I am neglecting my spiritual path.
One of the amazing things about rituals is the calm and comfort that comes from the performing of them. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been stressed or scattered, and been able to fall back on established habits and rituals to find myself again. Whether big or small, rituals help me be the best that I can be as a practitioner.
I was poking around WitchVox the other day and came across an article called ‘Living Your Religion Every Day‘ by James Bulls. In it, he writes about moderation:
As it concerns living your religion everyday, the loud dramatists advocate set rules and habits for life: meditate for an hour every day; read cards every day; exercise every day; never eat this; never drink that; always perform the quarter, cross-quarter, full-Moon, and dark-Moon rituals; and so on. And so the misguided accept one absolute after another into their spiritual devotions until all their time and energy is devoted to planning for the next event.
The trouble with living your religion in terms of absolutes is that each of us is fallible and will fail to satisfy an artificial schedule and arbitrary definition of “spiritual perfection.” Absolutes invite failure, failure invites discouragement, discouragement invites dissatisfaction, and dissatisfaction invites mediocrity. This “mediocrity” of which I speak is the ball-and-chain, which prohibits daily expression of one’s religion…
The article is wonderful, and I highly recommend reading all of it, but I especially agree with the last big. Holding unrealistic precepts for yourself is a sure way to burn out. Instead, I choose to focus on what I am able to do, and enjoy each thing fully. The more I appreciate and find joy in what I can do, the more I want to do. The more I want to do, the more I make time for. And when I start expecting too much of myself, then I find joy in re-establishing communion with my deities in more simple ways.
I’d love to see how you make and re-make those connections if you’d like to share!
Brightest Blessings,
PBP: The Wheel of the Year – Part 1
Prompt: The Wheel of the Year
“When celebrating the Wheel of the Year, you can interpret it many ways. You can see it as symbolic, agricultural, astrological, etc. You could even do a combination. How do you find significance of each holiday in the modern world we live in? For example, during the fall season, the holidays relate strongly to the harvest. In this day and age, most of us don’t live on a farm harvesting grain and ensuring the following year’s crops. How do you stay in touch with the roots of the holy days we observe when some times we are so far placed from them?
How do you interpret the Sabbats of the Wheel of the Year and make it fit the modern world around us?”
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Ostara
Beltane
Litha
Litha is also when my local Circle celebrates our anniversary. We formed in 2011, and Litha was our first Ritual as a group, so each turn of the Wheel to Litha is another year that I celebrate in fellowship with the members of my Circle. We celebrate 3 full years in 2014.
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Brightest Blessings,
Very Superstitious
I just had to post this… <smile> Take a few minutes to appreciate the awesome that is Stevie Wonder.
Moving on…
I was not raised with superstitions, unless you count being told over and over again that they’re not real, and in fact, may lead to worshipping the Devil. My parents were very religious, and as such, feared the ‘influence’ of believing in superstitions on my soul, as though superstitions were a gateway to more, deeper occult interest.
Well, in a way, they were right. Though I never believed in them, the fear of them and the results in honoring such old beliefs interested me greatly. That may very well have been the crack that allowed me to first start questioning their faith and religion.
According to the dictionary, superstition is : an irrational belief arising from ignorance or fear. Superstition is also used to refer to folkloric belief systems, usually as juxtaposed to another religion’s idea of the spiritual world, or as juxtaposed to science. There are superstitions for almost all aspects of our daily lives, if we wish to follow them, however the origins for our most common superstitions are unknown. Sometimes they are logical (for example, don’t walk under a ladder lest you knock it and make the person above you fall, or the person above may drop something on you) but many of the superstitions we follow seem ridiculous (like: don’t open the umbrella in the house). Though many people shrug off the consequences of a broken superstition, some people can become controlled by them, and it can become unhealthy if the belief in superstitious lore gets to the point of interfering with their lives.
It’s possible that belief in superstitions come from the same thing inside that allows us to believe in other supernatural beings and events: the fact that when we can’t logically can’t explain something, we put in fillers (even of sometimes often) that make sense to us; things to explain what we can’t understand. Along with that, anecdotal ‘confirmation’ and rumor can complete the loop from myth to belief, which creates ‘superstition’.
Though I am not ‘fearful’ of the consequence of breaking a superstition, there are some that I do sort-of follow. There are others that, until researching for this post, I hadn’t realized would be classified as ‘superstition’ rather than ‘tradition’.
For example, ‘bad luck comes in threes’. I’ve always felt/followed this one. I’ve experienced this phenomenon many times, and have seen friends go through the same. So at the first sign of trouble, I get prepared. This is called confirmation bias. First, a couple of things go wrong, then something else, then a third (and final thing). After that, things start to look up. Sooner or later, the same thing happens again; trouble in three: people experience one bit of trouble and then start looking for the next bit of bad luck. Then again, and again, and sooner or later, you have a saying… and so on and so-forth.
Another is ‘wish on a star’ and the practice of not telling the wishes lest they fail to come true. This is another that I’ve practiced all my life. I remember as a child sitting in the window sill looking for the first star.
The charm I learned as a child went like this:
Star light, star bright
First star I see tonight,
I wish I may, I wish I might
Have the wish I wish tonight.
‘Wishing on a wishbone’ is yet another dealing with wishes. I never knew where that idea came from, but I learned that there is a legend from first-century Rome that tells of fighting over dried wishbones (which they believed were good luck). The bones would accidentally be broken during the scuffle, which led to the idea that the one with largest piece of broken bone was granted luck (later, their wish). As bird bones have long been used in divination, with the wise-woman, soothsayer, or witch ‘casting the bones’ and reading their patterns to predict the future, it’s a reasonable link to the past that comes from using bones as fortuitous and having powers.
Similarly, ‘wishing while throwing a coin into a well or fountain’, and ‘not telling so the wish will come true’ is similar to the wishing upon a star. As the wishing well is a European motif; the idea that wells were portals to the otherworld, or the faerie world; or that the gods dwelled in them, was common. The practice of entreating them with money or gifts to procure favor with them is old, and it is little wonder that such a practice still exists today.
Other superstitions fall into tradition and etiquette for me. Things like ‘all windows should be opened at the moment of death so that the soul can leave’ and ‘cover the mirrors & pictures of the deceased in the house’ when someone dies seem respectful of the deceased to me, whereas the superstition dictates that these things are done in order to prevent the soul of the deceased from getting ‘trapped’ in them. Either way, it’s just good manners in my mind.
It’s also Jewish tradition, which offers a different take on the practice:
“… covering mirrors in the shiva house, where a week of ritual mourning is held after burial. Lori Palatnik’s article, “The ABCs of Death and Mourning” explains the covering in a number of ways. First, it de-emphasizes personal physicality and vanity, shifting the focus to the soul. Additionally, since physical appearance aids in social acceptance, the covering “symbolizes [a] withdrawal from society’s gaze [as] Jewish mourning is supposed to be lonely, silent; dwelling on one’s personal loss.” The need to attend to physical beauty is further removed since marital relations do not occur during the week of mourning. Finally, sitting shiva involves prayer services which may not occur in front of a mirror to ensure maintaining a focus on God.” Read more: http://www.ehow.com/about_6647451_cover-mirrors-someone-dies_.html#ixzz2XkeIGsm0”
from the post: Sitting Shiva for Traditional Shiva at The World of Pastoral and Spiritual care ~ http://AChaplainsJourney.wordpress.com/2012/01/25/sitting-shiva-for-traditional-shiva/
Interesting, to be sure! I think sitting shiva is a lovely tradition, although I’d quirk it to my personal tastes.
Other traditions/superstitions I’ve been party to center on specific points in a woman’s life:
- penny in the bride’s shoe (did this)
- something old/new/borrowed/blue (yep)
- not seeing groom in dress (meh.. I kinda fudged on that one)
- jumping the broomstick (nope)
- handfasting (literally tying the hands of the bride and groom together) (nope)
- being carried over the threshold (yep)
- to predict the sex of an unborn babe, suspend a wedding band held by a piece of thread over the pregnant woman’s belly (yep)
- during childbirth, put a knife under the bed to cut the pain (yep)
Or her ‘duties’ as Keeper of the Hearth:
- put salt on the doorstep and windowsills of a new house and no evil can enter (and each year) (yep)
- never take a broom along when you move. Throw it out and buy a new one. (yep)
- prevent an unwelcome guest from returning, sweep out the room they stayed in immediately after they leave (yep)
- place an onion (cut in half) under the bed of a sick child to draw off fever and poisons (yep)
Others, like keeping hair cut from your head or fingernail clippings to be burned so that others can’t use them to work magic against you; walking the perimeter of your house and thanking the Guardians of the Boundaries for keeping your property during the year and others toe the line between ‘superstition’ and ‘personal Pagan practice’ for me.
And then some superstitions strike me as nonsense, or fear bred by Christians. For example:
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Black cats crossing your path. In ancient Egypt, cats were revered. Both as everyday pets and assets to the economy as rat and snake-killer (protecting the granaries from pests) as they were in Egyptian religious belief. They were the earthly presence on earth as deities (Sekhment, Bastet, Mafdet). As such, their likeness would no doubt cause fear in the ancient Christian heart, giving their followers reason to unfairly avoid them. Over time, this belief transitioned into the superstition that witches and their animal familiars, which were often said to take the form of domestic animals like cats, were embodied by black cats; a belief among some that persists today.
I find black cats especially endearing, even more so considering that black cats are more likely to be overlooked for adoption (and often faster to be euthanized) in shelters. Plus, who can resist Pooka!? While I have no problem with black cats, I still don’t walk under ladders and I do sprinkle some salt over my shoulder if someone spills it, just in case.
Friday the 13th is another that seems to be still a source of fear today. Interestingly, those who suffer a phobia of Friday the 13th are called: friggatriskaidekaphobics, while those who love the 13th are called friggatriskadekarians.
Friday has long been considered an unlucky day (according to Christian tradition); the day on which Eve offered Adam the forbidden fruit and Jesus was crucified) . “If anything bad happens to you on Friday the 13th, the two will be forever associated in your mind,” said Thomas Gilovich, a psychologist at Cornell University. “All those uneventful days in which the 13th fell on a Friday will be ignored.” For a superstition, the fear of Friday the 13th seems fairly new (relatively speaking), dating back to the late 1800s and it still persists today. We see it reflected in our culture in buildings (no 13th floor and often no 13th room), people stay in rather than travel on Friday the 13th (which actually makes it one of the safest days to travel!), doctors avoid scheduling surgeries, and a host of other practices.
Personally, I don’t see what the big deal is. Since 13 is considered a lucky number for many Pagans, I find it rather a lucky day and take full advantage of the pictures on the internet poking fun at the fear. And, many Pagans keep black cats specifically due to the association (well, at first. Then they love them squishy-much).
As far as teaching my children about superstition goes, I haven’t really ‘taught’ them much. They’ve picked up some (like stepping on cracks and wishing in the various forms), but I don’t think they know the meanings/symbolism and history of the act. It’s interesting to see the kids emulate things they’ve seen us do. The only superstitions we subscribe to with the kids (all in good fun, while still telling them the truth of the matter) are related to holidays or High Holy Days (Sabbats). People like the Tooth Fairy, Santa Claus and The Great Pumpkin (we have a really inclusive list of holiday icons), while not literal or ‘real’, are still fun to believe in. Yet still, they’ve picked up things over the years – like salt over the shoulder, and breaking mirrors. I don’t think we’ve passed on anything harmful, but you never know how these things might grow. One I subscribe to rigidly is keeping their closet doors closed and locked on the outside. That’s MY fear, not theirs; but they do close the closet doors always now.
Other superstitions, they have formed for themselves, like a special toy or ‘ritual’ to bring luck. My youngest child had nightmares for a while when he was younger. We offered him strategies, like ‘monster spray’ and ‘bells’ for protection, but he chose a dream pillow stuffed with herbs and a rune/sigil to help him sleep soundly. It worked for him, so that was either a ‘spell’ or ‘superstition’.
“Superstitions give us a sense of certainty,” said Michael Brody, a child psychiatrist and representative of the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry.” They also help kids handle anxiety and provide a sense of control”, he added, “and are especially common with 8- to 12-year-olds.”
It’s interesting to me how people get so outraged that superstition abounds, and that there are some who put honest belief into them. I say, ‘to each his own’. Let people find comfort and control in their own way.
For more superstitions and their meanings, check here. I found it rather a ‘tongue in cheek’ site, but interesting, none the less.
How about you – do superstitions play a role in your life? How, and what (if anything), do you teach your child about superstitions? What’s the difference between superstition and tradition for you?
Brightest Blessings,
For another look at the differing beliefs on superstition by Pagans, check out the Circle of the Black Moon’s blog!
Do More of This
This picture was posted on Old Ways Facebook page this morning, and I have been thinking about it all day.
Over the past couple of years, I’ve been off-and-on actively going to a group meditation practice at a local Buddhist Temple. Last year, the community decided to center more on the native Vietnamese community and so the English-speaking Buddhist community moved to another location. I’ve been meaning to get over there since they moved, and just have not been able to get myself together and join the group in the new location… until last week. I was finally able to go, and I hate to say it, but I was severely out of practice. I was fidgety, and distracted. There was ambient noise that was very ‘loud’, and I just had a really hard time falling into a meditative trance. I don’t remember it being that hard – it wasn’t when I was in good practice. So that’s one thing I really want to get back into on a more regular basis – group meditation.
I also have been neglecting teaching/leading/encouraging the kids in their meditation practice. A couple of years ago, I made meditation jars with the kids. There are literally tons of tutorials on Pinterest, but we used mason jars, water-based hair gel, water, food coloring, glitter and gorilla glue (to seal the jars) for ours. The kids’ jars calm after being shaken in about 7 minutes and mine takes closer to 14. The more gel, the longer the jar takes to clear. If your kids are new to meditation, you can use smaller jars, or less gel so that they clear a bit faster. I was thinking that making several with different calm times (5 min./10 min./20 min. etc.) would be a cool way to expand the time the kids meditate for.
Imaginations by Carolyn Clarke also suggests teaching children to lay down, relaxed, with an eye mask (lavender? chamomile?) to aid them in letting go, and also to block distracting visual stimuli. My boys lay on their stomachs with chin on hands when they use their jars usually, though they have used them at their desks as well. We also sit criss-cross-apple-sauce style with knees touching and eyes closed on occasion, but that’s more often when we need to re-connect with each other. As a connectivity tool, meditation is an amazing alternative to ‘time out’. Some see that as a ‘non violent’ method of discipline (and being raised in a house/religion that insisted that spanking was the only/best way, I saw time out that way for a long time. Even though I used it sparingly, it still wasn’t ‘comfortable’, but I lacked the tools to do anything else when mine were very small).
With age and experience comes wisdom, and now I liken the ‘time out’ method as similar to the practice of ‘shunning’ that some religions endorse as a corrective method. Having experienced that several times myself, I now see the practice (both of them), as somewhat extreme. I feel that children need to be held a little closer in times of trial, rather than exiled. Rather than isolating an immature child to think for themselves and draw what conclusions they may, drawing them closer and having some time to reconnect physically and spiritually, without the burden of conversation, for a bit eases the way into a productive conversation where redirection can be effective. It’s very difficult to touch someone you love and maintain anger and irritation – the physical connection somehow short-circuits the negative emotion. I need to take my own advice more! So that’s something I also want to work on – meditation practice with the kids and physically connecting with them instead of distance when I am frustrated with them.
Another thing I have started doing is copying and printing the kid crafts that we do and add them to the kids’ Shadow Books. There’s not a huge population of Pagans who have grown up this way, and as a parent, I often have a hard time finding ‘traditional but modern’ new crafts or esbat/sabbat-specific activities. I figure by documenting the things we do, they will have their own ‘tradition’ handed down to them to use with their children if they so desire. My path is pretty eclectic, and constantly adding new elements as I learn them, or modifying old ones. It’s also neat to have a record of my path as it progresses. I used to be really diligent about filing my papers into the correct Shadow Books (binders) and have gotten lazy about that, too. I started re-arranging my shelves and cabinet the other day, so I want to finish that as well.
How about you? Have you tried meditation with your kids? Any tips or tricks you’d like to share?
Brightest Blessings,
Beltane Day 2013
I’ve been meaning to really get the kids involved in celebrating the seasons. On the one hand, I want what we do to be a part of the norm – fairy offerings, chants for prayer and song, but on the other, I also want to take note of the change of seasons and make the sabbats a special thing – without having to make it into a chore.
As a pagan parent, I have found it hard to find things that really ‘fit’ for the kids. The things that I do for myself to find balance are not things that would appeal to the kids. While my personal practice is more about reflection on the sabbats, they like the celebratory aspects. I enjoy them, but would be just as happy with a simple ceremony as a full group ritual.
I started off the morning with a visit with my plants over coffee. Kids were still asleep, so I trimmed some blooms off of my new lavender and picked out some yellowed leaves from my mint, and found a wee baby mushroom growing near my radishes and picked stray fallen leaves from my pots and boxes.
Then I finished writing up the Beltane Ritual that our Circle will be doing tonight, and took down my Ostara altar and set up my Beltane altar. I will have additional things on it after tonight’s ritual, but for now, it’s very neat and clear.
Beltane is one of my favorite sabbats. I feel like I’ve come out of a funk and everything is heavy with possibility.
I did find some fun Beltane suggestions at Spellcasting with Morgainne that I thought would be interesting for the kids.
- Beating the bounds. This custom involves walking around the boundaries of one’s property to invoke protection. In some places, the entire community would walk the boundaries of their village, proceeding deosil (clockwise) around the boundary. This would be an excellent time to walk around your house, yard, apartment building, or just your personal space. You can speak, chant, sing or silently appeal for protection.
I like this idea. We are using our walking sticks to walk the perimeter of our property and adding an offering of bread and honey and milk in the East to the Guardian Spirits as well, to honor them and ask for their continued protection in the coming year. We’ll also revitalize our Witch Balls in the house today.
A simple chant is fun and easy to remember:
“Guardian Spirits of this place
I honor you in chant and grace
Grant your blessings in this year
and protection so that we may not fear
For any who should wish us harm
Turn them back; so ends this charm”
Next up:
- Petitions for good health. Take ribbons or fabric strips and write requests for healing, then tie them to a tree. Hawthorn, Ash, Thorn and Sycamore are the magickal trees of Beltane, but any tree or shrub will do.
We’re doing a form of this; writing on fallen leaves and letting the wind take them to the spirits that can help.
- Do something creative. I have often used the afternoon on Beltane to craft sacred oils, dry herbs or even craft beaded jewelry. Make use of this powerful energy by putting your mind toward artistic pursuits.
Creative pursuits are always encouraged here! My budding young artists and chemists love to create, so this is something we can do with great fun. I think I am going to pick up some melt-and-pour soap and let the kids make some herbal soaps for themselves.
How are you celebrating Beltane with your family?
Brightest Blessings,
A Questioning Path
I really like this picture. One of the reasons I chose it for this post is because it’s not just one path; it’s a path that allows for turns that interact with other people, and that can bring you back to the places you were before. I think that’s more representative of the way that life is – the choice I make today may lead me somewhere new, but it might also bring me back to a place I was before, or at least a very familiar place. I also think that this is such a valuable thing for my kids to learn as they grow and find their place in the spiritual world.
This is, in part, what happened to me. I revisited a familiar crossroads – one that I had been at before – where my needs and beliefs differed greatly from that of those around me (my family). At that time, I chose one direction… but then slowly started making choices that ultimately brought me back to that same crossroads again. This time, I have chosen a different course – one that takes me farther away from those whom I once chose to please.
While I define myself as Pagan, that’s not a tidy little word that encompasses everything about my spiritual beliefs. I think that, especially over the last decade or so, the definition of ‘Pagan’ has grown to include almost (if not more) styles of practice, belief and worship as the many Christian religions. When you hear ‘Pagan’, though there is a certain set of ideas that you can assume they might hold, the specifics of their individual beliefs are as vast as the stars. From individual direct paths like Wicca, Kemetic, Hellenic; to the various Reconstructionist or Ecclectic versions of those paths, to purely Ecclectic paths… the structure and exact definition of beliefs of each of those varies even within the coven or group themselves.
This, to me, has the potential to be an utterly amazing thing. Indeed, among the people I have met within the Pagan Community in my own Circle, and came into contact with at Pagan Pride Day, the openness and willingness of a group of people with such vastly differing beliefs to come together for a moment and celebrate both the diversity and the unity of belief is especially tantalizing to me; someone who is always questing for something that resonates for my own practice.
I don’t know where my path will lead me, ultimately. I am not dead-set on anything – I’ve had too much ‘organized religion’ in my life to feel either the need for or comfort in a truly structured, ‘THIS is how we practice’ religion of any kind. But partake occasionally? Find an element from their worship that appeals to me? Yes, please! And I am fortunate, indeed, to be part of a community that makes my questioning path both acceptable and feeds my desire to participate in and learn new things.
Brightest Blessings,
This post is part of the Pagan Blog Project. To read more posts with the ‘Q’ topic, originally for the week of August 17, 2012, click the button:
Offerings
This week, I am combining my Pagan Blog Project post with Pagan Blog Prompts. It works, because the letter I am on is ‘O’, and the topic at blog prompts is ‘offerings’… I was struggling with finding a topic for ‘O’, so that worked out well.
We were asked:
For those who perform rituals, do you give offerings? If so, what kind?
What is the meaning/purpose of offerings?
Leaving offerings is something I do pretty often, both in ritual, and just in general. Our Lughnasadh ritual was last week and during it we made sacrifice dolls (decorated corn dollies) to burn at Mabon. In the meantime, mine rests on my altar, collecting bits of things I will offer at Mabon in the fire. This is fairly common in my group’s rituals; at Yule, we each decorate Yule Logs to burn – the idea is that the effort that goes into making a beautiful Yule Log is the offering to the Gods. We also generally leave flowers, bits of cakes and ale or wine, pretty things (seashells, nuts, and other Nature goodies) on the Circle Altar when we leave for the evening.
In my personal practice, I leave offerings as well, especially when hiking or walking in the woods. A couple of years ago, I came across a video featuring offering stones made from cornmeal. The kids and I have made several batches and we keep them in a bag in the van. When we go walking or hiking, we grab the bags, and choose a place to say a prayer and leave a stone. The stones are all natural, so they dissolve and nourish the ground and animals around the area we leave them in.
I also keep an offering bowl on my altar. I have made several goddess bowls, and have a few in my etsy shop, Exoptable Thaumaturgy. I have them all over – in my bedroom on my main altar, in the kitchen window, on my desk… they collect coins, feathers, shells, bits of paper (fortunes from fortune cookies), beads – all kinds of small, pretty things.
The idea of leaving something for those unseen appeals to me. Deities, faeries, guardian spirits – each of them traditionally ‘require’ something different and paying homage to their preferences is usually a matter of minutes in terms of real time, but the effort to take the time can be monumental. It’s a small token of thanks, appreciation, acknowledgement… it’s hard to define, but all of those things, and more. The practice of making offering stones, of decorating an item to throw into the fire, of finding something pretty and leaving it in a special place all keep my mind focused on deity. It keeps me in constant connection by providing a tangible way to interact with Them.
Offerings also help me teach my kids about being thankful, and about mindfully going about their day. It’s easy to take a walk or go on a hike without really appreciating the cycles of Nature and the Seasons that make each moment so. By intentionally taking the time and making that connection, the practice of making and leaving offerings provides me with a ready-made teaching tool.
To read more about other Pagan topics that begin with the letter ‘O’, be sure to check out the Pagan Blog Project 2012. To read more about offerings, check out this week’s Pagan Blog Prompt.
Brightest Blessings,
Modesty
I came across the Pagan Insights Project through Pagan Blog Prompts a while back. At the time, it seemed like a lot of reading and I wasn’t mentally able to consider it, but now that things have settled a bit, I have gone back to look into it and may I just say – wow! What a neat idea! This post (in addition to the PIP) is also my next entry for the Pagan Blog Project 2012, M prompt.
One of the things I have taken on as a new project over the past couple of years is art journaling. I have a couple of journals fulled, and am now about to begin one that has a more focused meaning. I really want to do one that is centered on my practice. I plan to start it sometime in the near future, and devote a certain amount of time each month working on mixed-media pages that are related to the Sabbats, Esbats and different classes and things that my local Circle works on over the year. Ideally, I’d like to do one journal per year. We’ll see.
In the mean time, the Pagan Insights Project is a 5-part prompts project. Whereas most prompts are a word, letter or concept, this project prompts ways to embody the subject of your focus. They are:
* In Your Own Words – your thoughts and feelings – maybe a full blog post on a topic of your choice related to your path (or Paganism in general) or just a few sentences on where you are right now. What are you studying? What are you thinking? Who are you, and where are you going on your Pagan path? What’s right and what’s wrong in Paganism at the moment?
* Post A Pic – post an image related to your path, or one that invokes a feeling/emotion related to your spirituality (or craft… if one is a non-religious Witch), along with a sentence or two describing the image.
* Musical Musings – post a song, chant or poem related to your path, or one that invokes a feeling/emotion related to your spirituality (or craft). Can be in word form, but videos would definitely be awesome as well. On a spiritual level, what is your music of the moment? Is this a song stuck in your head, or one you played before your last ritual?
*Action, Action – post about a ritual, working or other experiential moment related to your path that has occurred recently, or that you are planning to do.
* Eureka! – post about something new that you have learned, or discovered recently, that is related to your path or Paganism in general.
So, with that in mind, I am going to try to fit all 5 of those prompts into this post.
Modesty
1. In your own words
So… a topic that’s been on my mind this week? Modesty. I don’t know where I saw it originally, but apparently, there’s a brouhaha on the internet about Pagans and the ‘M’ word – what it means, what/who it applies to, how it is interpreted and whether or not it is a ‘good’ thing or a ‘bad’ thing – or whether it something that Pagans need to consider at all.
I, like many, was raised in a Christian household. Modesty, in that context, is what you’d expect – the concept is related to clothing especially, and to behaviour as an afterthought. You’re allowed to wear whatever you want, as long as it is not too low-cut on top or too short on bottom (showing too much skin), including no bikinis in the summer, and nothing see-through without appropriate unders (though see-through fabric is generally in bad taste regardless of what you’re wearing underneath). It wasn’t ‘extreme’ – we weren’t expected to dress ‘plain’ and we didn’t have ‘special’ undergarments that needed to be worn and covered all the time like some religions.
I didn’t like it. I railed against it. It wasn’t the clothing in and of itself, it was the concept of why we were expected to dress modestly – to keep men from having immoral thoughts. It had nothing to do with being closer to god or honoring your body or keeping it sacred – it was about men and their inability to keep their minds on spiritual things when confronted by an extra inch of thigh, or seeing the area that switches from ‘chest’ to ‘boob’… as if by my clothing or lack thereof, I am responsible for what goes on in the minds of men. Even as a child, that rankled. I thought of it (and still do) as hypocritical that I am expected to mind my own thoughts and actions, and yet what I say or do has the power to so greatly affect the minds and actions of others (men, especially). As if by my choice of clothing, I am deliberately causing the downfall of man…. puh-leeze. It was especially bothersome to me that these apparently weak-minded men were the ones ‘in charge’. That is problematic for me on *so* many levels!
As a young woman, I tended towards Goth style clothing more than revealing clothes. I was covered, but it was all in black, or shades of gray. It was rebellious, because my mom hated it. For a long time, I wore practical clothing without much thought to ‘modesty’ – my usual uniform is jeans and a tee-shirt; though lately I am more called to dresses and more colorful, feminine clothing. My clothing is a matter of choice; it is what I may feel called to cover, or reveal, at a certain time. I would feel out-of-place wearing revealing clothing on a hike with my children, just as I would feel out-of-place wearing a full-coverage robe when on a date with my husband.
I kept my hair long because I liked it (length of hair wasn’t dictated in my church) – and I still keep it long. At this point, it is both a personal preference and a way to honor the Divine Feminine (though I prefer men with longer hair as well). I am (of late) a veiled Pagan; I wear a headcovering when I leave my house or have company. At Ritual, I leave my hair uncovered – a token nod to going skyclad (as Pagan Mom Blogger Angela says).
I choose not to practice skyclad at this time, though I will meditate or offer devotions while nude when I have the opportunity to do so alone (rare with a husband and kids at home). My practice in somehow more intimate than sex – I don’t generally have issues with my body. I am a healthy goddess-sized woman (if you like flowery words; I am plus-sized, fat, fluffy, obese, if you don’t). I am pretty active and I like sportsy-type stuff; I don’t have high blood pressure or high cholesterol; I am thankful that my body allows me to do the things I want to do and take care to nourish it and exercise it regularly and appropriately. And yet, my personal temple is between me and the Divine; I prefer to be covered when in the view of others. I take pride in my costuming of choice for Ritual. I like to look pretty, exotic, even, when I have the opportunity. The process of dressing in my Ritual costuming in part of my practice.
This is not an issue of modesty, per se – it is preference and how I, personally, am called to practice. I think there is also a disparity between the idea of modesty as a tool of oppression and modesty in the context of what is appropriate at a certain time. I was raised in a modest home, though my parents were not big on being dressed at home. I often saw (and still see) my parents in their small-clothes and think nothing of it. Contrast that with my home – I am more comfortable with my children seeing me in states of undress while my husband prefers not to be seen so. The kids fall somewhere in between. I believe that one can be modest, even while wearing only underwear.
This is a concept that I teach to my children as well. Modesty isn’t about what one is wearing, though at times, wearing more or less clothing can be considered a matter of modesty. Complex, I realize, but it’s true. When we have company, I prefer that my children are dressed. They’re not babies any more; they’re young men – and with that comes the idea of being good hosts and ensuring that guests in our home are comfortable. Just as I would not answer the door in a towel, they’re not allowed to run around in small-clothes and nothing else. They’re also to an age where bodily privacy comes into play. As they get older, they may choose to dress or undress as they choose, though social conventions to play a part in those decisions at times.
That said, I believe that modesty is a state of mind; a state of being; an attitude – not a matter of what is covered (or not, as the case may be), and it is up to each individual to decide what modesty means and how they put it into play (or not) according to their own values. However, modest or not, there is usually an agreed upon social acceptability of certain actions, and this is no less true in the Pagan community.
2. Photo
I like this image because it implies the connection between male and female, husband and wife. In the context of modesty, it is the coming together of two into one – unity. The topic of Divine Unity in public ritual has also been broached as a matter of modesty in the recent pagan community – I agree that the concept of Unity is prevalent in Pagan worship and should be celebrated, honored and shared – but I also believe that our participation in such shouldn’t necessarily be ‘on display’ for the common people. The coming together of the God and Goddess and/or their vessels in Ritual is special – intimate – and should be treated as such, IMO. It’s not food for public consumption, and when done ‘on display’, seems to me to devalue the practice.
3. musical musings
Speaking of the Great Rite, I LOVE this song. We used it at Beltane this year and it was completely evocative of the spirit of Beltane.
4. Action, Action
Most recently, I suppose my action with regard to modesty has been choosing to take on the veil as part of my practice. I cover every day; I wasn’t sure how it was going to sit with me. The only experience I’d had previously with headcovering was in a submissive context – submission to the Lord God, and also to His earthly Leaders among men (not women – MEN).
I don’t consider myself a feminist, but I hate the notion that women should be ‘meek and mild’ in comparison to men – I just hate it. As if women are less than, inferior, less capable, less able – I understand that there are those who defend female submission and say that I am missing the point, but I promise I do understand it as it is ‘meant’ to be, and that many abuse the privilege and responsibility that comes with being a man ‘in charge of’ a woman (or ‘woman’ in the context of ‘the congregation’)… I still hate the entire structure of that paradigm.
So – back to veiling… putting my hair up and my cover on has become part of my daily ritual. Much like putting my glasses on so I can see clearly, covering my hair has become a necessary step in being ready to leave the house. If we’re going to be staying home, I don’t cover. My home is a ‘sacred space’ and when it’s just my husband and children, I don’t feel the need to cover. But when I go out, I do.
It’s not ‘exactly’ modesty that prompts my decision to continue covering, though that does play a part. I suppose some of my thought process is molded by years of Christian thinking – the idea that a woman’s hair is her crowning glory and should not be cut. Aside from that, I just like my hair long rather than short. But I also feel more feminine with longer hair, and thus closer to the Goddess. Keeping my hair covered except for Ritual makes leaving it unbound special and adds something to Ritual for me.
5. Eureka!
As for something new… it’s been interesting reading about the concept of modesty in Pagan terms. As expected, the range of what is considered modest or not – and even if it matters in the Pagan community – has been divisive. With this many strong-minded people converging on one topic, coming from differing backgrounds and personal philosophies, there’s a lot of room for diversity. There’s also a lot of room for misunderstanding, and miscommunication. There are no clear-cut directives, or even standards of behaviour that apply across the board. I’ve come to the conclusion that just like in any other area, it remains up to each of us to guard ourselves when it comes to modesty, and protecting our children for modesty’s sake – at least in my opinion.
I hope you’ve enjoyed this first installment of the Pagan Insights Project here. I don’t know how often I will fully explore topics in this manner, but it’s been both fun and challenging to articulate and create ways to cover the topic. If you’re participating in any of the projects that this post touches on (modesty, Pagan Blog Prompts, Pagan Blog Project 2012, or Pagan Insights Project – or headcovering, unity – whatever, really!), feel free to comment and link to your blog.
Brightest Blessings,
Circle Anniversary
A couple of weeks ago, I celebrated a full year of practicing with my local group. This is the first time I have been a part of a regular group for this long and I wanted to write a bit about my experiences and what being a part of this community means to me.
I am fortunate to have several friends who have similar beliefs in this area. That’s a rare thing, and I am appreciative of the fact that I had not only several Pagans in my circle of friends, but also non-pagans who were open-minded enough to look past the labels, stereotypes and preconceived notions.
There are a couple of Pagan communities in this area, but like any spiritual group, they may or may not ‘fit’. In the cases of the groups I visited with, the latter was true. After one particularly disastrous encounter with a local meet-up group, we (my friends Bridey, Indigo and Kai and I) decided that it was time to start a group of our own.
Our intent in starting the group was to create a family friendly circle that hosted Sabbat and Esbat rituals, as well as a regularly meeting teaching circle group to delve into the many diverse topics that the Pagan community encompasses. I am happy to report that we have done exactly that, and maintained an environment that is open and respectful, bringing together various paths, experiences and lifestyles to create a harmonious, cohesive spiritual family. Over the last year, we’ve gained new friends and some friends have drifted away, but the group we have now is close-knit and strong – it’s a real spiritual family; in many ways, closer to me than my relatives.
I cannot express how much this group – being a part of and practicing with these people – means to me. Over the past couple of years, I have lost several family members; some to death and some to differences in life-paths. In my circle family, I have older sisters and younger sisters, surrogate brothers and mother figures. I appreciate the roles that they have taken on in my life, and the extended family that they provide my children – through Circle members my kids have added aunts, uncles and cousins of sorts, who provide them with peers from similar spiritual outlooks, which is somewhat rare in the Pagan Community.
The group as a whole has grown as well. We started out as a Teaching Circle with the intent of holding Ritual each Sabbat as well. Since then, we’ve added several Esbat Rituals and have started a community blog, and we will be starting a Children’s Circle this year as well. It’s wonderful to be a part of such a supportive Pagan Community.
For our group anniversary, we met for dinner and then went to a ‘paint your own pottery’ place for some crafty fun. Several people made boxes similar to mine, others made coffee mugs, a chalice, and figurines.
On the bottom, I painted the circle name and date to commemorate the event. My lovely little box now occupies a place of honor on my altar, as a symbol of the unity and family that our group has created and maintained. I am so looking forward to how we grow over the next year or practicing together!
What about you? If you practice with a group, do you celebrate milestones or anniversaries? How?
Brightest Blessings,
Guilt: Leaving Christianity
For my ‘G’ prompt with Pagan Blog Project 2012, I wanted to write about guilt over leaving the Christian faith.
Many Christian faiths teach that the only path to salvation is through Jesus. Many Christian faiths also teach that not only through Jesus, but also by believing only in their path through Jesus, will you find your way clear of whatever bad thing is promised for not following that path.
It was into the second way of thinking that I was born and raised. I don’t think it’s hard to imagine how difficult breaking free of such unfair indoctrination was and is. I say ‘is’, because on some levels, I don’t think I will ever be free of the beliefs I was raised with. I can rationalize my way clear of them, with logic and education and research and common sense, but there is a primal fear that goes along with blatantly rejecting something that was ingrained in me throughout my entire childhood.
There is also an unspoken element to this kind of religious belief, and it’s one that I think goes unnoticed most of the time. I think there is an unconscious belief that ‘only’ people of that religion can be ‘good people’; that a fundamental quality to being a ‘good person’ is that you follow that specific religious path. I say this because it’s hard to judge someone as an equal when your religion – a primary source of guiding direction in your life – teaches you on an almost daily basis that people who do not follow that part are inherently flawed. It also sets you up to overlook gross misconduct in yourself and in others because you are ‘on the right path’ or are united in faith. I daresay that my ethical and moral standards would hold up against any religious set, and yet I am considered inferior because I have rejected that path.
In choosing something else, I did set aside those beliefs – the belief that there will be a ‘judgement day’, that there is a way through it, that Jesus is the way, that being part of that particular religion was the only path. If that religion’s doctrines are true, then I have forevermore cursed myself into something unforgivable. In ‘choosing’ to reject what is ‘true’ and ‘worship false gods’, I have committed an unforgivable sin. There is no recovery from that, according to that religion’s doctrine.
Making peace with that is hard. Impossible, even.
And yet I persevere.
It helps that I am HAPPY now. It helps tremendously that I have peace in my heart; that most my gods and goddesses don’t generally have vengeance and destruction of the world and most of the population on their hearts; that I am allowed to let people’s actions speak for them rather than relying solely on commonality of belief to deem them worthy of my time. It helps to know that my children will not endure this kind of mental anguish; to know that indoctrination will not be a part of their childhood, and that no matter what path they choose, their actions – the kids of lives they live rather than the god(s) they do or do not worship, will be the benchmark for success. It helps to have a community of people who follow somewhat similar – and yet extremely diverse – paths, and that they accept that my path is just as sacred and viable and important as their own. It helps that these people see beyond my path into me – what makes me who I am – and value that rather than a path or belief that we may or may not share wholly.
If you have left another faith, what was your experience? Do you have guilt over leaving your former path? Have you made peace with it? How did you resolve your feelings, or is it an ongoing struggle?
Brightest Blessings,
Book of Shadows for Kids
I have been looking high and low across the internet for a Book of Shadows (or as we call them here, ‘Shadow Books’) for kids. I’m not looking for a ‘story book’, but an actual list of things to include that would be useful for kids – spells and simplified versions of things that I might have in mine.
Once upon a time, there was a series of printable books for pagan kids by Eliza Fegley available at sacredspiral.com. There were several basics – one on the Elements, one on the Magic Circle, and one on Seasons, I think. Now, that site re-directs to sacred-texts, and you can still find some of the other sacredspiral pages up (like the Pagan Patterns and Design book) but I cannot find those books anymore. (update: I did manage to find a couple of them on the Austin Pagan Kids site and linked to them from there).
So, (before I found them) like many people who can’t find what they’re looking for, I wrote my own versions: The Young Pagan’s Book of Seasons and The Young Pagan’s Book of Elements and Directions. They’re relatively simple in format and I just pulled clipart pictures to illustrate them. I am uploading free pdf versions of them for general use. They’re inspired by Eliza Fegley’s similar books, but I have changed them to reflect my own path and correspondences (which means that they may or may not work for you). I wanted something that was simple, but with more content than Eliza’s books since my kids are a little older. I think they turned out nicely! I am also working on a book for tools and am considering creating a kids’ tarot – but that’s a pretty big undertaking (but I did find the printable and color-able Hello Kitty tarot – too cute!)
While the traditional Shadow Book is hand-written, I don’t know many Pagans who keep that ‘rule’ as unbreakable. I don’t consider myself a ‘techno Pagan’ and still follow the old rules about not having electronics in Circle, but I do rely heavily on the internet and on printing rather than writing things that I add to my book. In my Teaching Circle, we regularly have printed hand-outs that we use and most people add them to their Circle Book of Shadows. With my kids, asking them to write out long lists of correspondences and associations isn’t practical. So I ended up finding some really good resources for my kids’ books and printing them. We’ll also add handwritten things, but as they’re interested with an eye towards personalization with drawing and note-taking.
One source I found years ago that I just love is the Pagan Moonbeams newsletter. At one point, it was a large undertaking with multiple authors, covering things like ‘Focus on Faith’, which explored different religions, ‘School Bell’, which is a homeschooling lesson plan section, and sections for ‘Wee Pagans’ and ‘Teens’, ‘Beginner Magic’ and ‘Middle Magic’. As many publications do, it has waned as contributors have drifted off but they are still publishing it and the archives are posted. There are many pages that work well in a child’s Shadow Book, including a section on creating a correspondence journal (or just print the pages). My kids are very interested in the dream signs and animal messengers so they’re able to look up the things they see in their dreams and make connections on their own.
As a parent, one of my favorite features of the PM newsletter is the Focus on Faith section. There were only a handful of them written, but the format makes it easy to research, write (and maybe submit) additional religions for inclusion in their books. I think that it’s my duty to educate my kids rather than indoctrinate them, and so we approach religion as a bit more of an academic topic than some do. I want my kids to be familiar with my faith, but feel free to choose something else and be knowledgeable enough about other paths to make the choice that is right for them.
Another great resource for parents and pagan kids is the Pooka Pages Magazine. It’s an online magazine that is published before each Sabbat and focuses on Elsie and her little cat, Pooka. Each issue has stories, crafts and recipes for your child to try, and has a section that is printable for your child’s Book of Shadows with spells or information about the Sabbat. In one issue, there is a Full Moon Esbat rite story that Winnie the Pooh and friends participate in (led by Tigger). It’s cute, and nice to read about mainstream animated characters doing thins that are ‘normal’ to Pagan kids!
There are also kids’ pages at http://austinpagan.com/kids/ – coloring pages, binder covers and spells/ritual information.
For my kids’ Shadow Books, I started with a 1″ 3-ring binder. That’s what I use for my books, and I like being able to add things into the proper sections and move them around when needed. Using a loose-leaf format also makes it easy to divide my binders when the time comes. I currently use 3 binders – one for my ‘working book’, one for Esbats and Sabbats and ritual/family information, and one for my Teaching Circle. Eventually, I’d like to consolidate everything into a ‘pretty’ scrapbook style boud-by-loose-leaf style book, but not yet.
Back to the kids’ books… 1″ binder. I included a ‘what is a Book of Shadows’ page that I found on Pooka Pages in the Imbolc 2010 issue. There’s also a BOS craft page so the kids can make their own books later on if they choose. Since we are somewhat secular, I included the 15 Guiding Principles of Secular Paganism. I also included the Nine Noble Virtues of Asatru, and the Golden Rule as it is explained in other various religions.
I included the books that I made on the seasons and the directions/elements (linked to above), and basic information on what ‘ritual’ is, the power of positive thinking, altars and making them, the poem Desiderata by Max Ehrmann, and some other ‘food for thought’ that were printed from the Pagan Moonbeams newsletter.
The next section is for magick and rituals. I included things that we’ve made together – dream pillows and other charms, and a birthday ritual, and some family rituals that we’ve done. Everything in this section is age-appropriate and written ‘for kids’. Several spells are also printed from Pooka Pages’ ‘A Little Book of Spells’ section. I also have a section with simplified information on each Sabbat and rituals that are associated with each of them.
Next, they have correspondence tables – moon, animal messengers (dream), dream symbols, planetary and vegetation alignments, gem & stone correspondences.
Then is a section on Gods and Goddesses. There are only a few here, mostly added as we come across them of if they ask about a particular deity. Some information is printed from the PM newsletter, too.
Up next is a section on divination – basic rune and tarot information. Since I read cards and my kids are familiar with seeing them, I included a section that is easy to understand for them. There is also a page on drum divination from Pagan Moonbeams.
Then I printed the Faith Focus pages from Pagan Moonbeams for the kids. As I have mentioned before, we choose to present all faiths and all paths as viable for our children, and equally respected. With that in mind, we want our kids to have information on different belief systems at their disposal. I feel that having this information included in their Shadow Books is a good way for it to be accessible without having to ‘ask mom’ and a good jumping-off point if they are interested enough to pursue research on their own. Though we did print the PM pages, I will be adding additional, similarly structured pages and hopefully uploading them here in the future.
These books are a work in progress, like most Shadow Books, to be added to and changed as the kids get older and things become more or less important to them.
If you’re a Pagan parent, do your kids keep a Book of Shadows? Did you help them, initially? What did you include, and why?
Brightest Blessings,
Confusion with Correspondences
I am slowly but surely going back and catching up on the Pagan Blog Project prompts that I missed since I joined in so late. My topic for the letter ‘C’ is ‘confusion with correspondences’. I was reading some of the other posts and came across Life of an Imperfect Pagan’s post about creating correspondence charts and thought I would expand on my comments there.
As Michelle mentions, one author lists one thing, another lists something else. With all that information out there, how do you know what is Right™?
This may not work for everyone, but I have found that my correspondences tend to be fluid. They may change according to my need or intent, or if I am working for someone else, they may change for that person’s benefit. For example, I am a fire sign, my son is a water sign. Some stones and herbs that are associated with fire for myself would be invoked with water for him.
I have found that there are many herbs and stone that are evocative of multiple elements. Lavender for me is both air and earth. Moonstone is both air and water. Tigers eye is both fire and earth. Sage is both air and earth (and can sometimes be fire as well). Salt is earth and can be water on occasion; florals can be both air and earth for me. Jade is earth and water while gold and carnelian are earth and fire. Opal works with any element for me.
photo courtesy of Squidoo.com
I generally try to avoid using the same herbs at the same time for opposite effect – like something for drawing and something for repelling, or manifesting and banishing. While I don’t have a huge herb cabinet, avoiding that can get tricky when you’re working with limited supplies.
Other associations are less fluid – astrological and planetary correspondences are more solid for me, though herbs and stones may be associated with multiple planets, days of the week and colors. Moon phase associations are also pretty set; generally speaking, the more consistent an association is, the less I am to feel it in a different way.
Another interesting element to the correspondence question for me is the source of the material. I am a research buff, so on occasion, it’s been interesting to note the geographic location (if available) of the source of the correspondence. Northern or Southern hemisphere would alter the associations some, I think, as would time frame, societal associations and perceptions… those sorts of things.
I touched on this in a previous post, but one correspondence that I feel differently is the elemental/directional correspondences. Air is in the North for me, and Earth is in the East. Fire is South and Water, West, which is similar to most traditions, I believe. I have recently begun experimenting with different ways of casting a circle – using only three elements, calling on 5 and 6… it’s interesting, and I can’t wait to try it in a group setting.
One of the things I have been trying to do is help my kids with their own spirituality. They’re still young, but interested enough in the goings-on on my altar, especially now with the changing from Imbolc to Ostara that I can talk about why I chose light-colored candles instead of darker ones; why I am putting eggs on the altar, why I use this incense or those stones. I found printable correspondence tables in some of the older issues of Pagan Moonbeams that I included in my kids’ Shadow Books. They’re more interested right now in the dream sign and animal messenger charts, but I wanted the to have the correspondences anyway. Anytime I print something like that for them (or for myself), I do tend to make changes to the document as needed. I may put a line through something in favor of my own (or their own) association, or make notes in the page margins – or something even add a new page before or after the printed one with notes of my own changes. This preserves the ‘original’ while still being true to my own path, and encouraging my children to seek their own – not to be so bound to what someone else says is Right™.
So what about you – do you make associations that are non-traditional, or do they make the most sense to you when used as directed? How do you resolve conflicting correspondences?
Brightest Blessings,
Big Moon, Bright Moon – Full March Moon 2012
Photo courtesy of Why Not Art - 'March Chaste Moon'. Click the picture to bring you to the website.
March is the month of the Chaste Moon, the Windy Moon, the Fish Moon. Depending on your culture or path, you may call the moon by something else this month, but whatever you call it, last night was full of magic.
Something I was reading a while back was talking about how the moon affects water on earth, and how, since humans are made of mostly water, it is logical to assume that we are affected by the pull of the moon as well. I’d never thought about it in those terms before, but that works for me.
For practical purposes, I consider the full moon to last 3 nights; the day before, the day of, and the day after. We have an incredibly busy schedule, and rather than try to pack in a quickie Esbat ritual, I prefer to give myself a window to work within, that way I am not stressed out over missing the night of the full moon. My friend Bridey mentioned that it’s like a pyramid – the night leading up to the full moon, the night of, and then the night afterwards is on the downward slope; each day of the full moon can be tailored to tap into the last remaining waxing/full energy, or tap into the both the full and waning energies, but all three days are good for full moon working. That’s pretty accurate, I think.
That said though, there is something about the night of the full moon that makes it just that much more special, and the full moon falling on a regularly scheduled Teaching Circle night? Oh, even better. Since the new year began, our Circle group has been meeting occasionally for Esbat Rites in addition to Teaching Circle and Sabbat Rituals. In this case, we got a double dose – a Teaching Circle class on Moon Magic, and ritual. We talked about moon basics – what types of working that each moon phase is suited to, lunar deities, and some of the history of moon worship.
As a parent, it’s been interesting to me to see the progression of interest from my children. One of my sons came with me to this class, and whereas before they both have been more interested in hanging out in the playroom, my son decided to join in ritual this evening. This is the second or third time he has come out to participate. He’s a child still, so his interest level comes and goes, even within the context of circle – and he’s young enough yet that his entry into and out of ritual space isn’t an issue. Now, to be honest, his interest in being in circle may be that he just wants to stoke the fire; and/or may have something to do with the fact that last night, he was the only child there, and staying inside would have meant being alone inside while the rest of us were outside – but I like to think that having the option to participate without obligation has created some interest for him.
It also helps that we have men active in our circle. I think that goes a long way towards illustrating the (for lack of a better term) viability of this belief system for my sons. I respect the men who practice with us on a regular basis, and value their example as Pagan men for my children to emulate. Of course, they may ultimately decide that my path is not for them, and that’s fine – but having positive role models in their lives other than their father, regardless of religious flavor – is a good thing.
If you’re new to Paganism, or new to having children participate in your practice, there are many ways to get the kids involved. Keep in mind that a ‘ritual’ doesn’t need to be a full-on, quarter-calling ritual. You can keep things simple and casual; something that works better for some children than having a big formal to-do. Get the kids involved as much as their age and interest allows. Have a job for each child, and incorporate movement (dancing, singing, playing instruments) to help them release pent-up energy (and so as not to be a distraction if it is a group ritual). Some simple kid-friendly ideas include:
- if you call the Quarters, make spirit jars to call/use at the corners (instead of or in addition to candles). Fill a small jar (Mason/Ball) with mineral oil or diluted corn syrup and glitter for the kids to shake as they call each Quarter. Use white/silver for air, red/orange for fire, blue/turquoise for water, green/yellow/lime for earth and we made one for spirit with gold and purple glitter that sits in the center of the circle or on the altar (if there’s a fire in the center).
- if you walk the Circle, use a white rope to define the circle. Kids need/like visual reminders – letting them walk the circle with sage and salt can help cement for them where the Circle is at.
- make saged salt – my kids love putting herbs through the grinder. We made saged sea salt for ritual use a few months ago by grinding sea salt and sage together. The result is a powdery smooth salt with sage throughout. It’s wonderful for protection and cleansing.
- make moon-blessed water – full a container with filtered water and set it out at sunset. Leave it overnight to charge under the light of the full moon. Bring your jar in at moonset (or sunrise) and keep it for things like cleansing, blessings, filling your water element dish, watering your herb garden, etc. You can also put items into your water to charge – amulets, herbs, jewelry, etc.
- charge your statuary – bring your gods and goddesses out into the moonlight to cleanse and charge them. Kids can bring their own, or make their own from clay, salt dough or cold porcelain clay and charge them under the moon. Stones, gems, rocks – these things can also be charged under the moon.
- listen to and sing Anne Hill’s Full Moon song (from Circle Round and Sing)
- use the energy of the full moon to draw and send out healing energy to friends and family who are ailing
- make dream pillows
- incorporate the Moon Names into your theme for your ritual – March is the Chaste or Windy Moon, among others. Use feathers, fans, make a wind sock, wear white, talk about the Maiden aspect of the Goddess, etc.
- talk about things that you want to banish in the waning moon
- Visit PookaPages.com’s Moon Page and Raven Rin’s Pagan Nest: Including Children in Esbat Ritualsfor more ideas
If you have ideas to share, I’d love to read them. If you’re a pagan parent blogger, please feel free to link to your website and let me know – I’ll add you to my sidebar.
Brightest Full Moon Blessings,
Raising Boys in Goddess Tradition
‘What does it mean to be male in Goddess-centered worship?’
This is a question that I am having to ask myself as I bring up my sons. As a female in male-dominated Christianity, I was never content or satisfied with the subservient role that women were supposed to occupy. It wasn’t that I wanted to take a leading role in worship; more that I wanted autonomy to connect with deity in the way that felt right to me – not in ways that were deemed ‘acceptable’ only when channeled through men.
I also felt like the distinct lack of female divinity was in error – just as men and women compliment each other in flesh, surely there is balance in the spirit world. How can a male deity fully comprehend what it is to be female – or vice-versa?
Practicing a Goddess-centered (or nature-centered) faith seems more balanced to me. In that same vein though, I do not want my sons to grow up with those same feelings of inadequacy or inequality that I felt as a young person.
One of the things I have been thinking about recently is the accuracy of the term ‘Goddess centered’. I have come to the conclusion that though it may sound more appealing for some, for me, it’s not entirely appropriate terminology for my faith. In almost all of the rituals I have attended of late, there is just as much reverence for the gods as there is the goddesses we call upon. Both sides of the equation – male and female – are represented and honored. They are distinct; different but equally powerful, presiding over different – and similar – areas.
In my personal practice, I honor both the Goddess and the God, in many forms. When I pray, I pray to both, and ask that their strengths be represented according to their nature. In talking about deity with my kids, I try to be aware that though I have a special connection to the Goddess, they (being male), likely do not have that same type of connection; rather, their connection to the Goddess may be similar to the connections that I have with the God. Whereas She is me and I am Her, my connection to the God is related to the differing male archetypes in my life – father, brother, friend, lover, companion, teacher, son, mentor, husband, steward, protector, etc. I have those same archetypal connections to the Goddess, but the deeper connection is that we are one.
This, I think, is the key to raising sons in Goddess-centered worship – equality with a keen appreciation for and understanding of the differences that compliment each other. How the two halves come together to make up the whole, and together they are complete – and how men and women feel the connection to deity; how they act upon it.
So how does that translate into bringing up Pagan Children in a predominately Christian area? Stay tuned…
Brightest Blessings,
Rowan Hale 